We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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