But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Help. Why am I so naked?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
