Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
