The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
