I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
