I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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