remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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