i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
