Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
