That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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