In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
