dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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