i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
