as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
