She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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