Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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