guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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