you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
