is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
