Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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