idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
