absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Welp...herpes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
