I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
