Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I supernannyed him into submission
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
