Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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