i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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