Slut skills are useful in every country.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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