PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I can't put those talents on a resume
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
