are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Plan B is the new Plan A
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
