saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Life is so much better after having sex.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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