It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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