Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
