Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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