garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
