There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
