This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
