Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
