Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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