my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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