our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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