she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
