Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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