im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
