i jhust puked up my retainher.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
