just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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