Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
