$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize