i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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