She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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