just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
