i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
